Twilitis

Ok, so, I am not a Twilight fan girl. I don't obsess over "how perfect Edward Cullen is" or "how pretty Bella Swan is!" (However, Taylor Lautner can show up in my backyard any day.) However, I will agree that it was a good book and a good movie. I do happen to like Twilight. I don't really know why. I just really like the idea of the story. Of course, I love vampire and werewolves and all that supernatural stuff, but that's not the point. While I hate what Edward Cullen looks like in the movie, he sounds cute in the book. However, he needs an attitude check. He's way too serious and way too possessive.

As for Bella...she seems like the typical, every day girl...that happens to fall in love with a vampire. But these things happen, ya know?

But why is EVERYONE obsessed with it? "Twilight's amazing, New Moon's so cool, Eclipse is coming out, Edward's hot, Jacob's sexy, why do they like such a plain girl like Bella, Bella's pretty/smart/stupid/weird/cute/sexy/hot." And so on and so forth.

Has everyone caught Twilitis?

Yes, it is official. There is a twilitis.

Definition of twilitis:
the addiction to vampires and werewolves and a fetish for blood-sucking, sparkling skin, fangs, furry people, clumsiness, and black-white-and-red book covers that have no relation to the book whatsoever.

Synonyms for twilitis:
stupid, dumb, crazy, retarded, obsessive, possesive

Antonyms for twilitis:
smart, intelligent, sane, normal, wise, plain, amazing, awesome, cool, sweet, fantastic, great, good....and so on and so forth.

Symptoms of twilitis:

Owning all four books
Buying dolls, figurines, posters, or clothing that portrays the characters
A need to drink blood
Biting fetish
Drawing "I <3 Edward" "I <3 Jacob" "I <3 Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse/Breaking Dawn" or "Bite Me" on your arms/legs/hands/fingers/face
A shrine in your closet or beneath your bed dedicated to one of the characters
Knowing all the Twilight trivia, including behind-the-scenes stuff

If you start experience symptoms of Twilitis, notify your doctor immediately. Twilitis is a dangerous and potentially fatal disease. Side affects include loss of friends, life, money, hair, and spirit, a tendency to bite people, paper cuts, weak eyes, strange bruises on your neck that may or may not be bite marks from your last one night stand, and heart failure.



ADS FROM GOGLE (can't use Google, it's copyright!)

WANT TO GET RID OF TWILITIS?!

Use Vamp-B-Gone, the garlic flavored pills that will make those leeches pop right off!

Not Vamps that are bothering you? Then get our special flea collar, Flea-tador! It will keep those furry beasts away!

Side affects include depression, realization that your life was a failure, gaining of friends, life, money, hair, and spirit, oily skin or hair, thinning of blood, and fun happy times.

Do not take if nursing, pregnant or plan to become pregnant, as these products will make the vampire/werewolf child inside you go nuts and begin to tear apart your insides and break your bones and suck your blood, making you weaker and weaker until eventually it will start to bite through your womb to the outside world to wreak havock on the world.

Talk to your doctor before taking Vamp-B-Gone or wearing Flea-tador. For more information, go to http://www.iwantmylifeback.vampsandwerewolfssuck.twilitis.net/ .

ROFLMAOLOL

GLee

No, that's not a typing error. I did mean to type GLee.

I have watched the show Glee for such a long time but I have never made any reference to it. Well, now, here is my analysis on each of the characters.

William Schuster: A big-hearted man that wants nothing more than to teach his students lessons through song and to have them win at Regionals and Nationals. His heart is broken when he discovers his wife, who claimed to be pregnant, is not pregnant. However, he can find love in the school guidance counselor, Emma Pillsbury.

Sue Sylvester: The coach of the Cheerios at McKinley high, she has a very sweet heart under her cruel insults at Schuster's hair (which she secretly envies) and her underhanded attempts to destroy glee club. She has a sister with Down syndrome that she visits every day and it shows her softer, sweeter side that she tries so desperately to hide.

Emma Pillsbury: An OCD, germaphobic, paranoid school guidance counselor. She is in love with William Schuster but things seem to keep pulling them apart. One of those things is the fact that she is still a virgin.

Terri Schuster: Schuster's wife of five years. She feared that he would be leaving her when she got the good news that she was pregnant. It renewed his love for her...until she found out the pregnancy was false. She bought pregnancy pads that are put on mannequins in maternity clothing stores to fake her pregnancy. She planned on adopting Quinn Fabray's baby. But, sadly, her little act was found out.

Rachel Berry: A hopeful, perky girl with big dreams of becoming a star. She is often seen as the main character in Glee, probably because of her many solos. She struggles with the fact that she never knew her mother. She is also in love with Finn Hudson.

Finn Hudson: Star quarterback at McKinley High. He is alienated by his fellow football players when he joins Glee club. He believes himself to be the father of Quinn Fabray's baby, who is his girlfriend. He is heartbroken to discover that she cheated on him with Noah "Puck" Puckerson, his best friend and he is the father of her baby.

Mercedes Jones: An overweight funky black woman with an amazing voice. She has fantastic clothing sense and loathes having to sing backup most of the time. However, on the show itself, she has many fantastic solos.

Kurt Hummel: Another fantastic singer. He has trouble coming out to people that he is gay, but he holds his ground against the insults. He also has fantastic clothing sense. He is in love with Finn. No one knows.

Artie Abrams: A paraplegic with incredible guitar playing abilities. He is in love with Tina Cohen-Chang.

Tina Cohen-Chang: A Gothic asian girl with a sweet voice that she used to hide with a stutter. When she started dating Artie, she came out with the truth, that she didn't actually have a stutter. She used it to have people leave her alone.

Noah "Puck" Puckerson: Finn's former best friend and the father of Quinn Fabray's baby. He is basically a player, dating several different girls for usually selfish reasons. He dated Rachel Berry because he had a dream about the fact that both of them were Jewish and she came to his room one night. He also dated Mercedes when he became unpopular for shaving his mohawk and Mercedes was a part of the Cheerios. He is very mislead when it comes to "love." But he claims to love Quinn Fabray.

Quinn Fabray: She used to popular and head cheerleader of the Cheerios. Now, she is seen as a loser and slut. At pregnant one, at that. For a while, she kept up the story of how Finn was the father but, being such a "good girl" Rachel had to tell Finn.

Santana Lopez: A spicy, fiery Hispanic Cheerio that joined Glee club in the beginning to destroy it. But she found that...she liked it! Former girlfriend of Puck.

Brittany (no last name found): A ditzy, silly blond that often says the funniest of the quotes in Glee.

There are also plenty of famous characters that join in on the fun: Josh Groban, Olivia Newton-Jon, Idina Menzel, Neil Patrick Harris, and (my favorite!) Kristin Chenoweth.

Glee has awesome characters.

What Do We Do?

Now, anyone who has read my blog knows that most of the things I write in this blog are not personal at all.

But to be honest, I've been having a very terrible day.

All this terribleness (if that is a word) made me think about how cruel this world really is...

Does anyone else think that the world we live in now is our punishment? Our sort of...Hell? Perhaps at one time we lived in a very peaceful and carefree place. Somewhere with no problems whatsoever. I like to call it Etolan. I know it is an odd name, but it must have a name, correct? So call it Etolan. Well in this place, nothing went wrong. The world was magical and at peace with everyone else. Music was heard everywhere. No animals killed one another. No one died unfair deaths. Everyone died peacefully and naturally. There was no cancer or pneumonia or AIDS and HIV or anything deadly. Weapons didn't exist because there was no need for them.

But something went wrong.

Who knows? Evil crept in somewhere into this gentle, untouched place and destroyed it. Pure white souls turned rotten and black. The peace here was destroyed beyond repair. So, as punishment, once the people of Etolan died, they began a new life in a little place called Earth.

And Earth was our Hell. Earth is a place we see as light and life.

But what if it isn't? What if...somewhere...Etolan still stands? What if there is a way to get back to it, get back to our untouched gentle special lives of no pain at all!

But...don't you think that...since we were put here, we deserve to stay here? Obviously if we were put in this Hell we did something positively ghastly.

What do we do?

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Death

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Death




Ashes to ashes

Dust to death

What’s left, what’s left

But nothing



Skin to skin

Blood to gore

Who’s home, who’s home

But no one



Alive to dead

And dead to gone

What’s here, what’s here

But nothing



Red to black

And back to death

A death, a death

Of a nobody



Ashes to ashes

Dust to death

What’s left, what’s left?

No Choice

No Choice




Look at my hands

Do you see them?

Do you see?



They’ve been stained with blood

Burned with passion

Slashed with hate



The cuts, the burns, the scars

These scars

My misery

Shows in these scars



I bet if I cut my finger

Even just a prick

The blood would not be red

Nor black

Nor blue

But nothing



I have nothing left to bleed

Because you gave me no choice

But to die

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall...What the @#$% Happened?

Aging. It's inevitable and will always happen. Unless you are a vampire. But the word aging...

Can it mean mentally or physically? Because mentally, I might be very old but physically I am very young. Or perhaps my body is old, wrinkled and dried up and yet I still play with Legos and have trouble in math.

Aging is an odd thing. So is the circle of life, and our different thoughts at different ages.

As a young child, we never want to grow up. In the words of Peter Pan: "I don't ever want to be a man. Yuck! I always want to be a little boy and to have fun."

As a teenager, we spend our entire angst-filled lives thinking, "Can't wait to be fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen!"

Once we are legally an adult, at eighteen, we do one of two things. We rejoice at finally being able to do certain things. Driving, voting, buying cigarettes. All the fun stuff that as teenagers we couldn't wait to do. Parties are thrown, drugs are experimented and sadly, occassionally lives are lost due to the reckless behavior of people just barely out of their teenage years.

Or...we miss our childhood greatly. Sure, we may engage in the parties and we'll drive our cars and sometimes smoke a cigarette or two. But we'll miss the fun-filled innocent days of Legos, milk and cookies, and nap time. (Ahh...nap time.)

Once we reach our late-twenties or early-to-late-thirties, we realize just how serious life is. We start to become tired, more serious. We don't go to parties as often, we don't have nearly as much fun. Cars are no longer for showing off and being "cool." Now, they are means of transportation, driving from home to work, from work to the store, from the store to picking up your children from school, back to home.

The next stage, in the thirties, forties, fifties, is when we start uttering this phrase: Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall...What the @#$% happened?

Once we reach fifties, sixties, seventies, it is time to retire and relax. We become softer, more relaxed and sometimes happier.

And by the time death comes, we have accepted it. Our lives, while they may not have been entirely pleasant, have been well lived and loved.

Enjoy your life, my aging friends.

PB&J

A child's dream. Coming home from school to a nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich made by mom. Maybe the peanut butter is creamy. Maybe it's chunky. Maybe the peanut butterr is mixed with chocolate. Perhaps it is grape jelly or strawberry jam or raspberry preserves.

But no matter what, it tastes delicious.

Why is that? I decided to do some research on peanut butter and its history:

There are many claims about the origin of peanut butter. Africans ground peanuts into stews as early as the 15th century. The Chinese have crushed peanuts into creamy sauces for centuries. Civil War soldiers dined on 'peanut porridge.' These uses, however, bore little resemblance to peanut butter as it is known today
In 1890, an unknown St. Louis physician supposedly encouraged the owner of a food products company, George A. Bayle Jr., to process and package ground peanut paste as a nutritious protein substitute for people with poor teeth who couldn't chew meat. The physician apparently had experimented by grinding peanuts in his hand-cranked meat grinder. Bayle mechanized the process and began selling peanut butter out of barrels for about 6¢ per pound. First Patent Around the same time, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg in Battle Creek, Michigan, began experimenting with peanut butter as a vegetarian source of protein for his patients. His brother, W.K. Kellogg, was business manager of their sanitarium, the Western Health Reform Institute, but soon opened Sanitas Nut Company which supplied foods like peanut butter to local grocery stores.

The Kellogg's' patent for the "Process of Preparing Nut Meal" in1895 described "a pasty adhesive substance that is for convenience of distinction termed nut butter. "However, their peanut butter was not as tasty as peanut butter today because the peanuts were steamed, instead of roasted, prior to grinding. The Kellogg brothers turned their attention to cereals which eventually gained them worldwide recognition. Joseph Lambert, a Kellogg employee who had worked on developing food processing equipment, began selling his own hand-operated peanut butter grinders in 1896. Three years later, his wife Almeeta published the first nut cookbook, "The Complete Guide to Nut Cookery "and two years later the Lambert Food Company was organized.


In 1903, Dr. George Washington Carver began his peanut research at Tuskegee Institute in Alabama. While peanut butter had

already been developed by then, Dr. Carver developed more than300 other uses for peanuts and so improved peanut horticulture that he is considered by many to be the father of the peanut industry.
Peanut Butter Goes Mainstream C.H. Sumner was the first to introduce peanut butter to the world at the Universal Exposition of 1904 in St. Louis. He sold$705.11 of the treat at his concession stand and peanut butter was on its way to becoming an American favorite!
Krema Products Company in Columbus, Ohio began selling peanut butter in 1908 ~ and is the oldest peanut butter company still in operation today. Krema's founder, Benton Black, used the slogan, "I refuse to sell outside of Ohio." This was practical at the time since peanut butter packed in barrels spoiled quickly and an interstate road system had not yet been built.

Peanut Butter As We Know It In 1922, Joseph L.Rosefield began selling a number of brands of peanut butter in California. These peanut butters were churned like butters they were smoother than the gritty peanut butters of the day. He soon received the first patent for a shelf-stable peanut butter which would stay fresh for up to a year because the oil didn't separate from the peanut butter.
One of the first companies to adopt this new process was Swift &Company for its E.K. Pond peanut butter ~ renamed Peter Pan in1928. In 1932, Rosefield had dispute with Peter Pan and began producing peanut butter under the Skippy label the following year. Rosefield created the first crunchy style peanut butter two years later by adding chopped peanuts into creamy peanut butter at the end of the manufacturing process. In 1955, Procter & Gamble entered the peanut butter business by acquiring W.T. Young Foods in Lexington, Kentucky, makers of Big Top Peanut Butter. They introduced Jif in 1958 and now operate the world's largest peanut butter plant ~ churning out 250,000 jars every day!

I never realized that peanut butter had such a history. I commend George Washington Carver. But who decided that peanut butter and jelly would taste good together?

Well, it all started with the American soldiers:
1880 - A St. Louis physician, Dr. Ambrose W. Straub, crushed peanuts into a paste for his geriatric patients with bad teeth. At the 1893 Chicago World's Fair, known as the World's Columbian Exposition, it gained exposure and popularity.
1903 - On February 14, 1903, Straub received Patent No. 721,651 for a "mill for grinding peanuts for butter." Dr. Straub encouraged the owner of a food products company, George A Bayle Jr., to process and package ground peanut paste as a nutritious protein substitute for people with poor teeth who couldn't chew meat. Bayle Food Products of St. Louis purchased all commercial rights to the physician's peanut spread and went on to become peanut butter's first American vendor.
1904 - Bayle food Products took its new peanut butter to the St. Louis World Fair. It was a big success and gained exposure and popularity after it sold out in three days at a penny a sample, earning a profit of $705.11. Soon grocers across America were selling bulk peanut butter in large wooden tubs to satisfy their customers' demands.
1920s-1930s - Commercial brands of peanut butter such as Peter Pan and Skippy were introduced.
1941-1945 - Both peanut butter and jelly were on the U.S. Military ration menus in World War II (1941-1945). It is said that the American soldiers added jelly to their peanut butter to make it more palatable. Peanut butter provided an inexpensive and high protein alternative to meat for soldiers. It was an instant hit and returning servicemen made peanut butter and jelly sales soar in the United States. Food historians haven't found any ads or other mentions of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before the 1940s.
1943 - Nationwide food rationing was instituted in the United States during World War II. Each member of the family was issued ration books, and it was the challenge of the homemaker to pool the stamps and plan the family's meals within the set limits. Margarine, butter, sugar, lard, shortening, oils and assorted fresh meats were rationed and expensive. Peanut butter was a good cheap (peanut butter sold for 24 cents a jar) alternative and a readily available source of protein. Peanut butter was not rationed.

Thank god the soldiers like peanut butter and jelly! Otherwise, what snack could I eat after school?