Twilitis

Ok, so, I am not a Twilight fan girl. I don't obsess over "how perfect Edward Cullen is" or "how pretty Bella Swan is!" (However, Taylor Lautner can show up in my backyard any day.) However, I will agree that it was a good book and a good movie. I do happen to like Twilight. I don't really know why. I just really like the idea of the story. Of course, I love vampire and werewolves and all that supernatural stuff, but that's not the point. While I hate what Edward Cullen looks like in the movie, he sounds cute in the book. However, he needs an attitude check. He's way too serious and way too possessive.

As for Bella...she seems like the typical, every day girl...that happens to fall in love with a vampire. But these things happen, ya know?

But why is EVERYONE obsessed with it? "Twilight's amazing, New Moon's so cool, Eclipse is coming out, Edward's hot, Jacob's sexy, why do they like such a plain girl like Bella, Bella's pretty/smart/stupid/weird/cute/sexy/hot." And so on and so forth.

Has everyone caught Twilitis?

Yes, it is official. There is a twilitis.

Definition of twilitis:
the addiction to vampires and werewolves and a fetish for blood-sucking, sparkling skin, fangs, furry people, clumsiness, and black-white-and-red book covers that have no relation to the book whatsoever.

Synonyms for twilitis:
stupid, dumb, crazy, retarded, obsessive, possesive

Antonyms for twilitis:
smart, intelligent, sane, normal, wise, plain, amazing, awesome, cool, sweet, fantastic, great, good....and so on and so forth.

Symptoms of twilitis:

Owning all four books
Buying dolls, figurines, posters, or clothing that portrays the characters
A need to drink blood
Biting fetish
Drawing "I <3 Edward" "I <3 Jacob" "I <3 Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse/Breaking Dawn" or "Bite Me" on your arms/legs/hands/fingers/face
A shrine in your closet or beneath your bed dedicated to one of the characters
Knowing all the Twilight trivia, including behind-the-scenes stuff

If you start experience symptoms of Twilitis, notify your doctor immediately. Twilitis is a dangerous and potentially fatal disease. Side affects include loss of friends, life, money, hair, and spirit, a tendency to bite people, paper cuts, weak eyes, strange bruises on your neck that may or may not be bite marks from your last one night stand, and heart failure.



ADS FROM GOGLE (can't use Google, it's copyright!)

WANT TO GET RID OF TWILITIS?!

Use Vamp-B-Gone, the garlic flavored pills that will make those leeches pop right off!

Not Vamps that are bothering you? Then get our special flea collar, Flea-tador! It will keep those furry beasts away!

Side affects include depression, realization that your life was a failure, gaining of friends, life, money, hair, and spirit, oily skin or hair, thinning of blood, and fun happy times.

Do not take if nursing, pregnant or plan to become pregnant, as these products will make the vampire/werewolf child inside you go nuts and begin to tear apart your insides and break your bones and suck your blood, making you weaker and weaker until eventually it will start to bite through your womb to the outside world to wreak havock on the world.

Talk to your doctor before taking Vamp-B-Gone or wearing Flea-tador. For more information, go to http://www.iwantmylifeback.vampsandwerewolfssuck.twilitis.net/ .

ROFLMAOLOL