The Story Behind "Who's Counting?"

Okay, she doesn't have a name yet, but I'm thinking Penelope. I'm not sure why, but I love that name.

Penelope's father is very abusive. Her mother left, years ago. Now, Penelope is eighteen. She has no friends and is very quiet, shy, and very, very smart.

Now she discovers, through a doctor visit, that she has a rare blood disease. (I have no idea what I'm gonna use for the disease.) She will be dead by the time she turns twenty-one.

One of three things will happen.

She's going to meet somebody, a guy, and will fall in love. Since he is the only one who cares about her, she will tell him everything about her. Her abusive father, her abandoning mother, and even her fatal heart disease.

OR.

The disease is actually a suicidal fantasy that started because of her abusive father and terrible life. But it will be like the women who think they are pregnant. There is something that happens to some women when they desperately want a baby. They will start showing every symptom of pregnancy without actually being pregnant. Pregnancy tests will even show that they are, indeed, pregnant. But they have no baby. In this case, she will believe that she has a heart disease so much, she will actually stop her heart when she turns twenty-one. In this case, perhaps I will bring in the boy too and he will help her through the pain.

While this one is very interesting, it doesn't have nearly as much of a bite to it. There isn't as much suspense from the real risk of her death.

OR.

She will start to die but as she is dying, suddenly realizes all of the people that actually do care about her and will live long enough for her to have her surgery to fix her heart.

That's all for now.

Who's Counting?

This is a small excerpt from a new story of mine called, "Who's Counting?"

I suppose you could say I'm normal.

Then again, I suppose you could say that a purple-and-green polka-dot seahorse lives under my bed and does nothing but read Japanese folklore and eat cheeseburgers and and red wine.

Doesn't mean it's true. But, I'm a pretty average girl. Dark brown hair with a hint of auburn, too-big blue eyes, a tiny nose, a big mouth, couple freckles. You know. Boring.

I turned back to studying myself in the mirror. Yup. My eyes were definitely too big. My eyes looked like giant blue marbles. And in my face, it just gave me a sort of fae look. I've got a very small frame and a delicately boned face. With my big blue eyes I look extra-pixie-like.

My heart contracted painfully, and my lungs squeezed in return. I froze, my left hand on my pulse, my right over my heart.

Ba-thump. Ba-thump.

...Pause. My head spun dizzily and, I suppose it could have been my imagination, but I could have sworn I turned even paler than usual...

Ba-thump. The pain stopped and my vision returned to normal.

That's one thing no one knows about me. And even if I told someone, no one would believe me. No one ever does. (Plus, I doubt anyone would care.) But...you see...

I have a heart disease. I'll be dead by the time I turn twenty-one.

2 years, 8 months, and 4 days to go. But...who's counting, right?

A Writer's Drive

What drives a writer to be what they are? For most people...it's the money. The fame. Everyone wants to be rich and famous for their books. Very few actually become famous, like my friends Mr. Dickens, Mr. Poe, and even Mr. King. (Charles, Edgar Allen, and Stephan, for you non-writers.)

For others, it's being able to have the satisfaction of finishing something and haven't it be successful or even semi-successful.

But for me...it's the feeling. I love the rapid click of the keys as I pour out my heart onto a pixelated screen, watching the words appear. I like the swish of pencil lead brushing paper as letters, words, sentences, paragraphs, pages, chapters, books are made. Writing a book is a seemingly magical thing. In a book, anything can happen. Turtles can marry faeries. Vampires can fall in love with an unlikely person-a human. A seemingly normal man can control wind, fire, air, and water. Ghosts can haunt houses. Wizards can shoot lightning.

Anything can happen.

And don't get me wrong. I don't just write books and stories. I write poetry. Songs, music. I love to write. Anything and everything. Fantasy, sci-fi, realistic fiction, historic fiction, even.

A writer's drive...a good writer, anyway...is her heart. You can't write with your mind or with dollar signs in your eyes. You need to just let go as you write. Find the words you want inside yourself and let them flow onto the page. Sure, you need some thought in it. But...all you really need to be a good writer...is to feel.

Countdown to Hell (A Song)

**NOTE: The "hell" in this is not the cursing form. It means, literally, hell.

(Chorus) [spoken in mechanical sounding voice]
This is
My countdown
My countdown to
Hell

This is my
Tribute
To the sorrow...
The tears
The pain

My heart
My soul
My hell...
My hell
Countdown

(Bridge)
Tick...tock
Tick...tock

(V1) [sung]
Numbers rushing by so fast
Then they slow, slow, slow
Numbers
(Are they lines or my death)
My heart, my heart
My countdown

(Chorus)

(Bridge)

(V2) [Missing the first two lines]


Pain, pain, pain
Is eternal
And infamous

(Chorus)

(V3)
The flames
As they engulf
Engulf my broken heart
So cold
(The blue, the blue)
So cold

These hands
(ahh, ahh)
Sliding slowly
Turning slowly

Tick...tick...tick

Tick, TOCK!

(Chorus 2x) [less mechanical, frantic]

Countdown 3x [spoken, each time more frantic]

3...2...1...

Hell...[whispered]

Balance of the Scale II

I wanted to see more about it. So I found this!


Libra Strength Keywords:
- Diplomatic
- Graceful
- Peaceful
- Idealistic
- Hospitable

Libra Weakness Keywords:
- Superficial
- Vain
- Indecisive
- Unreliable

Libra and Independence:
Libras like to be around other people, they are all about partnerships and groups. They are happiest when other people are around and when other people are doing their work. They are lazy but like posh surrounding and nice decor. These two extremes could strike a balance and the Libra living on his own could either have a very messy place or a very intricately decorated place. They can be independent, they have the intelligence and the full capability within but would a Libra rather co-exist/depend on others.

Libra and Friendship:

Libras love excitement, new situations, adventure and the unusual. They make friends with people from all walks of life and they are always up to something new and exciting with enthusiasm. Libras are great at getting along with people, everyone likes a Libra. They are all about partnerships and groups, they are the glue that hold a group together because they are the ones responsible for keeping harmony and peace. Libras have mastered the art of relationships, not just romantic but business, personal, and family relationships just to name a few. No one is able to see another person's point of view better then a Libra.

Libra and Business:

Libras dislike hard work, they are lazy when it comes to getting their hands dirty and doing the work themselves. Fortunately, their intuitive instincts are good at telling them where money can come from. They can think up great business ideas that are original and bound for success, they can initiate the idea but they need someone else to do the work. Libras make good business partners but not good business people on their own. Libras have potential of being a good leader with their diplomatic ways, but but they are just too lazy to do the hard work required and climb a corporate ladder. A good way for Libra to become wealthy is through artistic endeavors. They can be painters, interior decorators, actors or writing screenplays or composing. These are great ideas because it incorporates Libra's hobby with a moneymaking venture.

Libra and Temperament:

Libras have excellent instincts and intuition, most of the time they do not trust them enough. Libras are likely to be underachievers due to the easygoing attitude. This does not mean that they are necessarily lazy, they just make do with whatever comes their way. They do not want anything badly enough to fight for it. The only time that a Libra will usually stand up is if a situation is unfair, the only time a Libra will definitely stand up is if they feel something involving them is unfair. They need their respect and their fairness, after all, Libra has done so much for other people, it deserves at least fairness, right? When this issue comes into play, Libra becomes courageous.

Libra Deep Inside:

They are also likely to hide or bend their own true feelings in order to bring peace with a group and to make others like them. Sometime this results in them not really knowing what their true feelings are because they are trying to make everyone happy. Other people can see this and Libras have earned themselves a reputation for being indecisive, they simply do not want to hurt anyone's feelings or cause disorder or friction in a situation. This spills over inside the person and many times, Libras have difficulty making decisions. Inside, the Libra is very insecure, they suffer from a lack of self confidence, they are always searching for something to complete them. This is another reason why they are social butterflies, it is an unconscious attempt to find the missing peace through other people. By trying to appease other people all the time, Libras don't really know who they are inside. Libras desperately need love and approval, they will do the favors that people ask and and have a hard time saying 'no' or 'I'm too busy' in order to prove how nice they are, this gradually builds up resentment and negative self esteem issues inside. Libra's indecisiveness is caused by fear, their fear that a wrong decision will make everything come crashing down around them and cause turmoil in their lives. Life is not like that and the Libra that acknowledges the fact that life has ups and downs will be less emotionally wound up, not so hard on themselves and as a result, they will be a much happier person.

Libra in a Nutshell:

Libras are the diplomat of the zodiac. They are able to put themselves in other's shoes and see things through another person's point of view. They are the ones that always want to make things right and have balance and harmony in their life, their surroundings and the lives of the people close to them. They have captivating charm, elegant taste and they are easy to like due to their eager-to-please, easygoing nature. In return for a Libra's amazing ability to be a good listener, sooth and calm people, they expect admiration. Libras will gather a group of people, everyone will become friends then the Libra will be in the center of the group. They like the attention and the admiration for the people that they have brought together. Libras are very intelligent, they often hide this inside their easygoing exterior. They express their intelligence through creativity, most are involved in some sort of artistic or creative pursuit. Many people overlook just how intelligent a Libra actually is. When others see a Libras wide range of interests and hobbies, their intelligence and creativity is more then obvious. Libras love variety and different situations. They welcome change. Libras love luxury. They will spend lots of money and surround themselves with beautiful things and they seem to be constantly fussing over their appearance. They love anything upscale and classy. Libras work hard to please others, this they do an others find them incredibly captivating.

What it's Like to Date a Libra Woman:

Libra woman is enchanting and charming, she is the master of the art of seduction. The environment is important for Libra, make sure the first date is somewhere classy and elegant with posh surroundings, such as lunch at an elegant bistro then a walk along the tree lined pathways of a ravine in the summertime with the flowers blooming. Libra will feel at peace and love it. Give her compliments and tell her how much she is appreciated. She may reply bashfully but with each compliments, the radiant glow inside her will shine brighter and brighter. Once the initial seduction is over with and the relationship has become more stable, she will stop her sweet seductive ways, not because she has completely lost interest, but it is because she is lazy in love. She may need a few days away without you, this is like pressing the reset button on the relationship. Be romantic with her and she won't lose interest. Be dramatically romantic, sweet love notes tucked in her pocket, flowers, these things bring great joy to the Libra woman and they make her feel special, which is essentially important to the Libra woman.

What it's Like to Date a Libra Man:

The Libra man is very popular with women because he is charming, harmonious and can relate to women on their level - a characteristic of Libra is the ability so see the world through the eyes of others. Libra men do this to seduce the girl and it always works. He always seems to be on the search for the perfect women, unfortunately, that does not exist. The closest thing a perfect woman could do is appreciate and be in awe of his stardom. Look up to him, admire him, he is a sucker for flattery. Do not nag or pick on his inability to make a decision, it will simply put pressure on him. You make the decision if he cannot, he will happily go along with you and deep inside will be happy that you took control.

How to Attract Libra:

Libras are easy to attract, they probably have attracted you first with their easygoing nature. First and foremost, admire and flatter them. Treat them like a prince or princess. Libras love to talk, they can talk about anything but are especially interested in themselves. Want to leave a lasting impression on a Libra? Ask questions about them and talk about their interests, hobbies, anything regarding them. Even though Libras are diplomatic, they enjoy seeing things from other points of view. Engage in a light debate about an issue exploring both sides and the conversation will flow. Dress nice, keep the atmosphere posh and upscale and clean your house before they come over for the first time. First impressions are lasting for Libras. Have fun, be yourself, you are almost guaranteed a good time with the easygoing, interesting Libra.

This all seems so interesting! I must learn more!

P.S. There was some stuff that I was not allowed to put on here. If you want to see it, go to my other blog.

Balance of the Scale

My birthday is September 28th, 1995. I am a Libra. I wanted to know more about myself so I went to http://www.psychicguild.com/horoscopes_zodiac.php?sign=Libra to find out more about it.


Your element: Air

Your ruling planets: Venus

Symbol: The Scales

Your stone: Opals

Life Pursuit: To be consistent

Vibration: Unsteady

Libran's Secret Desire: To live an easy, uncomplicated life.




Description:
Every adolescent Libran's fantasy is to find the Prince or Princess of their dreams. As their lives unfold, the experiences, false starts, dramas, broken hearts and disillusionment they encounter seeking this personal Holy Grail, often shapes their futures in the most extra-ordinary manner. Love and love-lost makes a big difference to the Libran although their often happy-go-lucky appearance against all kinds of odds may not reveal this as fact.

Librans can switch off from the world around then and during these periods much more occurs on the deep innermost levels of the Libran's psyche, than their closest companions imagine. Many Librans after establishing a lifestyle that somehow falls short of their childhood dreams, manage to conjure up a most independent life and keep up an image of being dedicated to a "close relationship". They can escape into obscure role playing - and often this makes them extremely successful business people. When it comes to romance and love, Librans can be difficult to fathom yet in business many Librans discover they can not only be creative, but it provides an opportunity to express the more diverse sides to their personalities. Their charm can win jobs and provides powerful friends. But in both work and play, looking for peace and harmony, Librans often say "yes" when they should be saying "no".

It is a sad fact about many a Libran's personal or business lives to say - many would have faired far better had they remained alone! But for those Librans who do find their secret dream and meet up with their Prince or Princess, that's another story! You'll find them living in some exotic, distant beautiful place, probably running the local bar or restaurant, designing the beach or ski gear, looking wonderful, sipping cocktails and finding life to be the total paradise they knew it could be. What Librans always have to remember when looking to fulfil their dreams is they should never undermine their own integrity and hold out until their dreams do come true - not simply take whatever is offered.

your fully- detailed astrology report no ordinary horoscope can provide. If you were born on the first or last day of a Sun sign, in astrological terms you were born on a cusp. If that's the case, you will probably benefit from reading your own Sun sign and the Sun sign that ends or begins right before or after your date of birth. For example, if your birth date is 22 December, your Sun sign is Capricorn, but you probably have some Sagittarian traits as well.

I'm not quite sure if this is accurate or not...I somewhat hope it is at the same time as it isn't.

Evaluation of a Picture

I chose this picture for my blog because of the hair, to be honest. I love red hair. An interesting thing about this picture however is that there is blood on the tombstone. I'm not sure if that means she is dead or if she is crying tears of blood. But it shows a deep inner pain that is also portrayed by her arms crossed in front of her, her head bowed and resting upon them.

This dress is beautiful and very detailed.

The wings are small and look at though they couldn't carry the body attached. This also gives a sense of pain and vulnerability. I like the feathers floating around her and the birds in the sky.

Meaning of Harsh

Some people don't understand the meaning of this poem, so I wrote an explanation.

A poem that, at first glance, is a love poem. Perhaps it is telling the story of an old couple and their unbroken love. It mentions memories of "that first time." It compares love to aging wine and mixes in the five senses. The foods mentioned are said to be romantic. Strawberries and chocolate and of course liquor, especailly red wine.

But the final verse...ah, that is when you see the true meaning. You might miss it if you don't look hard enough.

This poem is the poem of the broken-hearted. The single mothers, the wives of cheating husbands, the tired souls in a divorce. To have had a taste of love, so decadent and perfect, just like strawberries, chocolate, wine and champagne, and then to have nothing is very, very...

Harsh.

Harsh: A Poem

Oh, the soft scent of love
The feel, the taste
Like champagne and strawberries
Or chocolate and red wine

Rich, luxurious, new...
Love
Like a decadent wine
Growing stronger-
And sweeter-
With age

Oh, but don't you remember?
Remember, remember?
That first caress against her cheek
The slide of your gentle touch

Oh, but don't you remember?
Remember, remember?
That first secret kiss
His lips like spiced silk

Oh, the soft scent of love
The sight, the sound
Of a dinner alone
Can be...
Oh, so alone, can be...

Harsh.

I've Worked On This For Days!